My girlfriend

One may not agree to this post completely. But this is what i feel. Majority of us (humans) are born unaware and mostly unwilling to be aware of the fact that the end is certain for their body. I can not say which way to think is a better one; thinking that one can die any moment so live every moment to the fullest, or thinking that there is no death, no end- a plain continuity exits -so there is no need to be weary about anything.

For me, the second choice was easy to accept. In the first one, I had to accept the fact of death every moment, which would have made me meaningless right away. I don't want it, as I, like everyone -aware or unaware - have some unfinished business to do. So life is not meaningless. However, the thought would have certainly made me more willing and daring than the second belief has made me. In this second thought, I have no value for victory or defeat. As everything is coming and going away just like that, nothing is holding me much, except for the promises that are making life purposeful. So fighting spirit doesn't come naturally, as there is no result to hold on to for long time. And the results also show this disadvantage. During face to face competitions, I do not perform up to my potential. But when there is no thought of opponent, the competition is nothing but a playground. More often than not, I do win then. The best part about the impact of this thought line in its purest form is that even if I lose, I will not hold on to it. It just comes naturally. But when the thought is mixed with emotions from others or environmental disturbances, it creates trouble, as then the defeat is not forsaken. Even if I let it go, the disturbances will remind me of the loss. The negativity arising out of it can press a person, slowly and slowly, heavily enough that he would no more be able to throw the weight away and again be light with the pure thought. In a competitive world that it has become now, survival is the word for majority, and 'living'  had to take a back seat, unfortunately, if not unwillingly.

For people like me, face to face competition is acceptable only with a large reluctance, as competition requires a fight, which will mean need of a strong will to win, which will imply a strong belief related to the winning of the fight; a strong belief which will eventually 'fade away'!! So impermanence of things would not let me attach myself to any object, I feel so, (but can't say about future).

It does look such a loserly thought line; not preferring to fight and achieve, not inclined to possess greatness and fame, Not Holding On To Things. However, this thought line is very peaceful when it is in its purest form. I can then become one with the flow of the surroundings, as all are essentially swinging with the flow, flow of the sea, seas of thoughts, air, water, photon, boson and so on.

With the flow, I also accepted my physical, mental and emotional requirement of a girl. She is a sweet, happy girl and is of a cheerful nature.

Her being in my life adds one more purpose. Some may accept this purpose with the greatest cheer on their faces. Some may be afraid in the start, with start of a new phase in their lives, while some others will still be trying to go on with the flow, and keep their focus on their pending tasks.

A girl friend is a long term companion. Ideally speaking, she will be your part, only in a different container. Just like a normal person, she would also be contaminated with the environmental bondage, either knowingly or unknowingly. If given due attention to her, a person can understand how the self of a person is affected with his surroundings and how simple it is to form a shell against the world's obstruction to free flow. As I've observed this I've also learnt in my girlfriend's company that trusting myself is the most important belief I can set myself to.

I am not yet a fully-trusting-myself person, but I am practicing now, at least.

How to connect this event to religion ?
Honesty to oneself is a great requirement for mental peace. Belying oneself of his own deeds/thoughts etc would trap the person. A free mind would have to be honest to himself. For me to be closer to the purest source of the world, I believe I also have to be as pure as I can, hence trying to be honest to myself and accepting and working on improvement in my deficiency-areas.

(But I still don't know if we would be together for long. Only time will tell.)

Courage

It is an outcome of a conflict. 

Sacrifice

I rate sacrifice as the biggest virtue in the world. I do not think I follow any religion specifically. I just follow my instincts and feelings, but sacrifice is also written in Gita. It says that sacrifice leads a person instantaneously to peace.
There has not been a single incident where an incident of sacrifice has not moved me. Letting go of one's own interest without any selfish reason (but just out of love, possibly); this definition of a Sacrifice has touched me ever since I became conscious that feelings are a big constituent of me.
We are selfish in essence. Survival is a general instinct of any creature, if he is not bonded to anyone otherwise. Meaning to say that we are our first lovers. As we grow, our circle of love widens. There are bigger groups which we have to take care of. The story does not remain of just our selves. In order to continue being a part of the bigger circle happily, we sacrifice at times our smaller circle's (selves) desires.

Being in continuity with the bigger group, we keep our peace intact, but we had to sacrifice a selfish desire.

In the long web of life, we all constitute a big, very big group, the biggest group; a Gawd group. Everyone's desires look so meaningless when viewed in collectivity. Peace appears there by default. As if the biggest group did not have to sacrifice anything at all, as it was already at peace.

A selfless sacrifice gives me a glimpse of that biggest group! Because that person had no selfish interest in any smaller group. He was as meaningless in desires after the sacrifice as is the biggest group. Small incidents of selfless sacrifice can be seen every now and then. Brother giving his cherished phone to his younger sister, father selling away his land for education of his daughter, a boy waking up all night to attend to  a friend's ill dad because the friend had night duty which he could not miss, a girl giving her everything so that her friend forgets the pain. A lot of incidents can be seen!

I often feel that some highest being shows his quietest quality through them. 

First Post

I love religion, though I do not know what religion exactly is. To me, it is simply a base on which I stand; a constituent of me which aspires to seek the core of anything and everything.

I am also a great believer in God, though I do not yet know who or what he, she or it is in totality. God, to me, is a concept. To say in terms of previous statement, I consider God to be the core of anything and everything.

I have not read a lot about any popular religion, but I believe that a lot of them consider science only a part of 'God's kingdom', and only one of the paths to decide that one should seek the ultimate source. By a scientific and logical mind, one would eventually realise that there is something beyond our comprehension which needs to be known.

I may not like to admit it, but I also think on the line that science is just a part, and it can not explain everything. It can not give me the source. Or may be it can. But I do not know any scientific way of getting to the source.

So I accept my failure at finding out an explainable and readily available way of reaching to the source and change my perception about life as being something and anything, explainable or not. It's quite funny sometimes, but sometimes, the curiosity mixed with impatience creates an ocean of weariness.

As is the case for now, I am attached to life and its colours. I understand some colours while some I do not. I rejoice at some incidents while get curious and dreamy in others. I get tears by some emotions like a sacrifice of toffee by an elder sister for her brother, while in some bizarre events to my mind (like behna ki vidai), I become a stone heart.  All these combinations are worth recording somewhere. So in this blog, I suppose, I will be writing about some 'high' and 'low' moments related to my observations of life. I hope the path that is made in this blog will let me see and understand some unexplored realm.